Sad

Reached KLIA about 3 pm. Went back fr KK & Sandakan. Conducted 2 trainings there.

Today i read my husband's blog. Feel so sad that I really dont understand him. Since i refused to go to our previous church, he was so mad about me and started to stay away from me. I just want to be happy! I dont like their management! Pastor will always right??? I'm so far away from his thought. Sometimes we really cannot talk to each other, sure will ended up with quarreling. I'm also tired of it! I know we love each other so much but somehow we are so difficult to accept our different opinions. I know I'm very easy to get angry with him. I just cant stand him sometimes! I need adequate freedom! I know, I know, he did all for my good sake. But I do have my own view. Try hard! Must achieve my target, no quarreling!

So long never talk to God! Dont know how to describe my feeling right now. Am I still believe in Him? Am I still depend on Him? This whole week I was staying alone in a hotel. Actually I scared to sleep alone. Scared of things are unseen in the hotel's room. I think that is the moment that I need Him most, I started to hold the bible and reading the Psam that will make me feel peace. Lord, how? What should I do? Sometimes I think I'm just using you as my protecter, to 实现 all my wishes. Lord, tell me how to love you and other people more???